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The Saga of Ken Plume

from The Song Fu Years by Joe Covenant

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about

This song was written during the Red Nose Day Marathon.
Totally inspired by the inspired lunacy of the legend that mere mortals call Ken Plume.

I also give a shout out to some of my online heroes and some other Song Fu-ers... Including myself!

lyrics

A dark, sullen silence sat over the web.
A dismal place, where the best links lay dead.
Terrabyte blogs that bred interest in none.
League tables for sports no-one cared who had won
and pages of boredom that blocked out the sun,
'til out of the darkness he came.
Web Warrior Plume was his name.

And he said "I bring:
Coulton and Hodgman and Storm and his Paul.
With Widgett, Neil Innes, Tim Minchin and all.
The mighty Doc Hammer and all of his crew
and the intricacies of Song Fu..."
... the only thing missing was 'you'!

A cable of bright fibre optics he rode.
Into the arena of twitter he strode.
Quickstopentertainment he soon made his home,
the edge of his wit cut his foes to the bone,
if you've no lag on Skype you can give him a phone
And talk to this legend 'mongst men.
The warrior that they call Ken.

And he brought us:
Coulton and Hodgman and Storm and his Paul.
With Widgett, Neil Innes, Tim Minchin and all.
The mighty Doc Hammer and all of his crew
and Snydecasts that hold you like glue
as he brings all these glories to you.

His mighty right hand he would thrust deep inside
a puppet or two and we'd laugh til we cried,
as they mimed to the songs of some old broadway show,
or 'They Might Be Giants', "Birdhouse in your soul",
as Ken sitting motionless gamely would sport
an array of odd hats on his head.
Living proof vaudeville isn't dead.

A backdrop of wonders his webcasts would show.
Back and forth on streaming websites he would go.
Dvd discs in a shining array,
toys that might just be worth money someday
and many an instrument that he can't play.
The man with the world in his room.
All hail the Web Warrior Plume!

And he brought us:
Red Nose Web Marathons lasting all day,
to tunes of the 80's he would make us sway...
THIS LINE HAS BEEN REMOVED UNDER THE PATRIOT ACT
...now world dominations the goal.
For the man with the web in his soul.

And he brought us:
Coulton and Hodgman and Storm and his Paul.
With Widgett, Neil Innes, Tim Minchin and all.
Shiny bright helmets as modelled by Thor.
Head mounted lamps that make all our eyes sore.
Gauntlets of steel sporting sharp fingernails.
An audience online not exclusively male.
Bad guitar playing and piano horns.
Out of key songs, absolutely no porn.
JoeCovenant, Molly, Rusty's Jamboree.
Songs about Happiness, Songs about pee.
Hank, The Masked Stranger, Jeff MacDougal too.
Bryce, Heather Henderson bringing the Fu.
I've tld you enough. Now you know what to do!
UncaScroogeMcD's waiting for you.

The legend who's known as Ken Plume...

credits

from The Song Fu Years, released September 9, 2009
Joe 'Covenant' Lamb - Bodhráns, All Vocals.

Written and Produced by Joe Lamb

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