Banned Burns

by Joe Covenant

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about

These tracks are my renditions of songs and poems from a collection known as "The Merry Muses of Caledonia"
These were written and Collected by the National Bard, one Robert Burns.

If you go to each song's individual page, (as opposed to playing them from THIS page), you will find lyrics AND a Glossary of the Scots words used on them.

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***WARNING!!!***
IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE:
Some of the words used by Burns in these songs are still
used today, including those words starting in "F" and, even though it seems amazing that it was in use all those years ago, the dreaded "C" word!
(Obviously some words simply never die!)

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Burns, made no secret of his interest in erotic and bawdy song, but these verses were deemed to not be in keeping with his stature of poet, but as he collected, as well as wrote these pieces there is no knowing how much of it is actually his.

Some of it is local and seem to obviously be in his style and he may also have collected some of the material during his tours around Scotland.

As an aside, some of Burns's most famous works were actually sanitised versions of the bawdy originals.

The Merry Muses were so explicit that their existence was denied for more than 100 years after his death. Once unveiled they were banned in the USA until 1964 and in the UK until 1965

credits

released 05 January 2010
All Material played and sung by Joe 'Covenant' Lamb

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Track Name: Cuddy the Cooper
There was a cooper, they ca'd him Cuddy,
He was the best cooper that ever I saw;

He cam to girth oor landlady's tubbie,
He banged her buttocks agin the wa'.

Cooper qo she, hae ye ony money?
The deevil a penny, qo Cuddy, at a'!

She teuk oot her purse, an gied him a guinea,
For banging her buttocks agin the wa'.

(repeat)
Track Name: Wa'd Ye Dae That?
Guidwife, when your guidman's frae hame,
micht I be sae bauld.
As cam tae your bedchamber,
when winter nichts are cauld?
As cam tae your bedchamber
when nichts are cauld and wat,
and lie in your guidman's steed
wa'd ye dae that?

Young man,
an' you should be sae kind,
when oor guidman's frae hame,
as cam tae my bedchamber
where I am laid my lain.
and lie in oor guidman's steed
I will tell ye what,
he fucks me five times ilka nicht.
Wa'd ye dae that?
Track Name: Nae Hair On't
Yestreen ah wad a lady fair,
and ye wad believe me
on her cunt there growse nae hair
and that's the thing that grieves me

It vexed me sair
It plagued me sair
It pit me in a passion.

Tae think that I had wad a wife
wha's cunt was oot o' fashion.
Track Name: My Girl She's Airy
My girl, she's Airy,
she's buxom and gay.
Her breath is as sweet
as the blossoms in May.
The touch of her lips,
ravishes quite!

She's always good natured
good humoured and free.
She dances and prances,
smiles with a glee.
Her eyes are the bright things of joy and delight

Her slender neck, her handsome waist,
her hair well buckled, her stays well laced,
her taper white leg with an E, T and a C,
for her a B,E,D and her C,U,N,T-

Oh for the joys of a long winters night,
Oh for the joys of a long winters night,
Oh for the joys of a long winters night!
Track Name: Logan Water
The Logan burn, the Logan braes,
I helped a bonnie lassie on wi' her claes;
First wi' her stockings an' syne wi' her shin,
...She gied me the glaiks when a' was done.

But an I had ken't what I ken noo,
I wad hae bang'd her belly fu';
Her belly fu' and her apron o'er,
An' shew'd her the road to the Logan Kirk.
(repeat)